DO NOT SPIT

Spitting.
I never thought this topic would be of any interest to me. But, here I am thinking about it. Where does the need to spit come from? Do the plants need watering? Do the roads look too dry? Is there a bad taste in your mouth? Are you just angry? Would I also spit constantly if I didn't think it was un-lady like and gross?

People spit in India. They spit freely, and with surprisingly accurate aim. They spit out the window of their cars, they spit at the bus stop, they spit on do not spit signs, I assume they spit in their homes, possibly in a designated spittoon, they spit next to each others feet, they spit and they spit and they spit as if it were a contest of who could spit the most over a life time.

Most of the spitting seems to happen while chewing paan. I have had paan. The non tobacco kind, and it is pretty nice. Sweet. And it keeps the mouth occupied, maybe preventing bad conversation. But to my surprise, I am not a spitter of paan, I am a swollower. I just could not bring myself to do it. I could not publicly spit. Because, I am a lady.

Sam on the other hand is not a lady. He freely spat his paan all over the place for my photographing pleasure.

What is paan made of? Find out here.

Things I'll never get used to

I guess there had to come a point when I needed to complain.

1. Hooting.
There are 2 points to this complaint.
Firstly, here they call it horning and I just can't get used to saying: Stop horning. OR I can't bear all the horning. OR He horned at me.
The American guys working with Dan think it's hysterical that I call it Hooting coz hooters means a whole other thing...
I said: When I stopped at the robot, he hooted at me and I gave him a zap sign. This was met with a lot of confusion and laughter.
The second part of this complaint is that people 'horn' as freely as they breathe. The time it takes for people to start 'horning' when a traffic light turns green is approximately minus 10 seconds. Then you get 'horned' at to warn you they are driving past you, 'horned' at to let you know they have passed you, 'horned' at to say hi... I could go on. They're very very 'horny' round here.

2. Scooters.
When I first saw a man, his wife and their kid crammed onto a scooter I thought I'd seen it all. Then I realised that the wife had no helmet and was sitting side saddle. This was too much for me. Then I saw a man, his wife (side saddle no helmet), his 2 kids (one on the handle bars, no helmet) and his friend all on one scooter. I think there must still be a surprise for me around the corner, what about his parents and her sisters?!?

3. Visitors.
I'm so used to living my private Cape Town life where no one rings your doorbell unless you're expecting them to. Before I started working I would get summmoned out of my bed at 8 by the buzzing. It would begin with a cleaning lady looking for work, then a man who wants to put up blinds, then the guy collecting the trash, then a guy who wants to install gas, then the landlords driver with an extra piece of crappy furniture, then the guard asking for money and then and then and then.

4. Aaaaaayeeeeeee-aaaaaahhhhhh
Ok, there's this guy... I don't know what he's selling, but I'm sure it's nothing that I want. He begins his work day at about 7:15. He cycles past my apartment about 6 times an hour. How he lets everyone know he is there is by 'singing', loudly, in a very nasal voice this one word, which will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life: Aaaayeeeeee-aaaaahhhh.

5. Driving to Gurgaon. This fabulous place is where I work. Uglier and dustier than sin. Worst part is that it's an hour commute each way in heavy traffic. Only bonus about this is that I get a lift with a super entertaining and interesting guy.