Have you seen my cool?

It's official.
I have lost my cool.

You'll ask: How the hell do you misplace such an important thing, where could it have gone?
And I'll tell you: It was easy and It's probably in the same place as all my bobby pins and socks.

It could have all been prevented if I had just not stepped off the plane on the 15th of Jan 2009. I could have just stayed on the plane and gone somewhere else. But at that point, I never thought I could be so careless.

So anyway, here I am 6 months later and I look at myself in the mirror and I can see behind my eyes, there is no more cool. There is only heat.
Who the hell am I? I don't raise my voice. I don't demand things. I don't crap on people.
Well, I never used to. Now I do it all the time.
All of you who know me, imagine I get in a taxi in South Africa and the driver doesn't know where my destination is. I flip out. My voice is raised, my face is red, I'm threatening to take the cab company to the consumer court. I'm giving it to this guy like he has never had it before. Behaviour to make my parents proud.

I'm not trying to make excuses, but Dehli is an aggressive city. It has one of the most extreme climates (below 3 degrees to above 45 degrees) and historically it was the first place to be invaded every time India was at war. These things and I'm sure others have given it a really hard edge.
So I jumped on the band wagon. I got aggressive. I got angry. I got furious. After exercising my virgin vocal chords for a few months, I realised that I had raced way ahead of the band wagon. Delhi is not furious or angry. It just knows what it wants and it does whatever it wants, which is pretty admirable. So unlike me, Delhi has a cool heat.

Now I am stuck with a heat I want less of and a lost cool. I've tried yoga, I've tried swimming, I've tried meditation. Still no cool.

So I ask again. Anyone seen my cool?