Be kind to animals

It's a good deed to feed pigeons and cows are sacred.

Weird right? And causing a truck load of issues in the cities. Cows randomly walk across streets, pigeons randomly live on my balcony and nest on top of my extractor fans.

The short version of why cows are sacred is:
Milk. Work (used for farming). Reincarnation (someone you knew could now be a cow). The Hindu God, Lord Shiva rides an Ox. At one point the cow asked the Gods to save the earth. A little bit of tradition and superstition. Here is the long version.
Here is an interesting article on the legal issues of 'cows and the city'.

When I searched how many pigeons there are in Delhi, this answer came up:
18 326 038
This can't be right as about a quarter of this live on my balcony.
Despite an hour wasted on Google, I still have no idea why it's a good deed to feed them.

Wildlife

Without thinking and probably just to make conversation, I asked someone if there was wildlife around Delhi. I really felt like an idiot after they stared at me long and hard until I realised the stupidity of my question. To my defense, most of these guys are pretty tame... except for the monkeys.
I borrowed the cow image as I didn't have one of my own.

Things I'll never get used to

I guess there had to come a point when I needed to complain.

1. Hooting.
There are 2 points to this complaint.
Firstly, here they call it horning and I just can't get used to saying: Stop horning. OR I can't bear all the horning. OR He horned at me.
The American guys working with Dan think it's hysterical that I call it Hooting coz hooters means a whole other thing...
I said: When I stopped at the robot, he hooted at me and I gave him a zap sign. This was met with a lot of confusion and laughter.
The second part of this complaint is that people 'horn' as freely as they breathe. The time it takes for people to start 'horning' when a traffic light turns green is approximately minus 10 seconds. Then you get 'horned' at to warn you they are driving past you, 'horned' at to let you know they have passed you, 'horned' at to say hi... I could go on. They're very very 'horny' round here.

2. Scooters.
When I first saw a man, his wife and their kid crammed onto a scooter I thought I'd seen it all. Then I realised that the wife had no helmet and was sitting side saddle. This was too much for me. Then I saw a man, his wife (side saddle no helmet), his 2 kids (one on the handle bars, no helmet) and his friend all on one scooter. I think there must still be a surprise for me around the corner, what about his parents and her sisters?!?

3. Visitors.
I'm so used to living my private Cape Town life where no one rings your doorbell unless you're expecting them to. Before I started working I would get summmoned out of my bed at 8 by the buzzing. It would begin with a cleaning lady looking for work, then a man who wants to put up blinds, then the guy collecting the trash, then a guy who wants to install gas, then the landlords driver with an extra piece of crappy furniture, then the guard asking for money and then and then and then.

4. Aaaaaayeeeeeee-aaaaaahhhhhh
Ok, there's this guy... I don't know what he's selling, but I'm sure it's nothing that I want. He begins his work day at about 7:15. He cycles past my apartment about 6 times an hour. How he lets everyone know he is there is by 'singing', loudly, in a very nasal voice this one word, which will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life: Aaaayeeeeee-aaaaahhhh.

5. Driving to Gurgaon. This fabulous place is where I work. Uglier and dustier than sin. Worst part is that it's an hour commute each way in heavy traffic. Only bonus about this is that I get a lift with a super entertaining and interesting guy.

Holi dance

3 guys with Indian style drums moved around the party all day creating little dance hubs.
Rocking.

I got to do some Indian circle dancing??? with a bunch of crazy, drunk, high on bhang people (most of whom had forgotten to do up their flies). (Obviously not referring to the people in the vid).

Barbie's coming to our place in her princess chopper.

Huge roof terrace + left over Holi paint = totally camp Helipad.

I wish you could smell this...!

1. A group of young Indian men on a Friday night smells similar to the perfume area in a British department store, but on steroids. Imagine a quarter of a bottle of aftershave per person and there's a group of 30. It's actually pretty refreshing after some of the other smells... see below.

2. The Nala... This is a shit river. Literally. It is an open air sewerage system, pretty common in Delhi. I walk/ drive over it on the way to the market every day. The smell feels like a very personal and insightful insult, or being slapped in the face with a porcupine and most of the spikes go up your nose.

3. The spice market: Cumin, saffron, tumeric, tamarind,cardamon, pepper, ginger, coriander, nutmeg, cinnamon, all in one sniff.

4. Meat market. This is not a smelling experience I can put into words. If you are ever in New Delhi, go to the INA market and find the meat section. Make sure you enter from the far side for full effect.

5. Car fumes. Delhi traffic is intense. It used to be so bad that they converted all public transport to CNG (compressed natural gas). This apparently improved the 'choking of Delhi', but it has not improved the 'choking of Casey'.

6. Masala tea. 3 times a day, I receive a mug of steaming masala tea on my desk. I don't ask for it, it's just assumed I want it (which I do). It's made from masala spices, full cream milk, normal tea and about 6 spoons of sugar. Mmmm... when's the next one coming

7. Arriving home to food. We recently hired a woman to cook and clean for us. After 2 months of take aways, opening the front door to home cooking is a knee weakening experience.

8. The sea. Ok, so there is no sea in Delhi, but there is a sea in Cape Town and at the moment, home sickness smells just like the ocean.

Name calling

click here for a site of creative name calling

My best are Bumloaf and Lumpmunch.
Here's what I think a Bumloaf would look like:

One of the best movies uploaded to youtube of all time

The Evolution of Dance

Cool iphone app

The iphone camera truely sucks.
It is saved by some interesting apps like Quadcamera and Camerabag.

?????????

Now, this is someone I would vote for... so youthful.

Dusty oh dusty

The air I breath is full of dust.
Apparently living in Delhi is like smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.
This should have been a sad face.

Basic conversation with an auto driver, converterd to Rands

Casey: Namaste Gi

Auto Driver: Namaste

Casey: Defence Colony Market...?

Auto Driver: *undistinguishable head gesture*

Casey: Bhaiyaa Kitna - means how much, but probably not how I pronounce it.

Auto Driver: ?????

Casey: How much?

Auto Driver: Twenty Rand.

Casey: WHAT???!!!??? That's too much. You're trying to rip me off! I'm not a tourist, I live here, I'll give you R10

Auto Driver: No no, R16.

Casey: But it cost me R12 on the way here!!@#%!!!!!

Auto Driver: Ok, ok... R14

Casey: You're crazy, I'll go find someone else. *Looks around at deserted street*

Auto Driver: R14

Casey: *Looks at him suspiciously*

Auto Driver: *Smiles and spits a stream of paan on the pavement*

Casey: Fine.

A brief summary:

Got on plane, had to sit between Ivan & Dan
Ivan took sleeping pill before dinner and ate plastic around cheese, messed all over the place, ate my and Dan's dinners as well.
Arrived
Fought off 10 people trying to carry my 1 bag
Went to a party at Spanish embassy
Dan and Ivan started work
Dan got Alcohol poisoning, Ivan had to carry him home
I got stared at
I got sick (Delhi Belly)
Made good friends with the bathroom floor.
Ivan got sick (Delhi Belly)
Moved out of hotel and into apartment - loved apartment, has roof terrace and secret store room behind cupboard
I got stared at
Argued with Auto Rickshaw driver about equivalent of R4
Got bored at home with nothing to do, started looking for job
My parents and Jac arrived, went to awesome awesome places, saw beautiful things like Taj Mahal, Red Fort, Lake Palace, rode elephants, watched elephant polo match, saw more palaces, saw lots and lots of temples, loved having family around, went to Jane Temple, thought we were going to die on the way.
Argued with Auto Rickshaw driver over R2
Decided to try cook, went to market, stepped over live chickens through a river of blood and looked at lambs with genitals still attached. Bought a chicken, had to remove parts of the chicken I never knew they had. Psyched myself up for 30 mins. Made a decent roast chicken. Not sure if I'll ever do it again.
Bought amazing linen, Indian ornament things, singing tibetan monk bowls, beautiful bag, crazy loud Indian dress, silk dressing gown, old Bollywood posters.
Marveled at how cheap everything is.
Went to Hindi wedding, should have worn a sari, but don't have one yet - really want one.
Afghan man tried to get me to organise a party for him ??????????
Dan got sick (Delhi Belly)
Temperature reached 32 degrees, started getting worried about my wardrobe.
Started missing home.
Went to stand up comedian - a gay Indian living in New York, dating a Jewish gay American.
Talked about moving apartments (Dust blows into house from roof terrace, dunno what to do with secret room)
Things started hitting the fan, thought about coming home
Instructed to give a man a 'treat' in exchange for his help
Started new job at M&C Saatchi.
It's a 50 minute commute from our apartment.
Waiting for the next weird/ crazy thing to happen to me.

Awesome videos

2 of my all time favourite things to watch... over and over and over...

Nakka Mukka

Benny Lava

My new business card

A brand new, neatly packed box of business cards was the first thing I was given as I entered the door on my first day of work. I'm so excited, I've been handing them out all over the place... been getting some funny phone calls...

Things I think are cool... lately

Batman Coffee

Holi Cow party

The Holi Cow Holi party.

A crazy Indian festival that revolves around throwing paint at each other.
We walked from our apartment to the market and every 2 minutes we heard a swish of a paint water balloon going past our ears. I still have no idea how they all missed us... until... we arrived at Dan's office, he got out the car... one minute he was white, the next... yellow.

Mr Chappie

Taken during my first experience of Old Delhi. I love this chappie.

Popular Case Centre

I thought this would be a good image to start my blog with.
A very positive personal something something.